


Never Have I Ever...

by bavedecrapaud



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Drinking, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Love, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black x reader - Freeform, Slow Build, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 18:44:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18856888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavedecrapaud/pseuds/bavedecrapaud
Summary: With the gleam in his eye and the smirk on his lips you could help but wonder if Sirius was going to get friendly after all.





	1. Never Have I Ever...Part one

It was 5:15pm. You shrugged your shoulders and hugged yourself for warmth. If someone had told you 7 weeks ago that standing in a cold alleyway in central London while you and your coworker waited for the ok to apparate was the norm for a Wednesday evening, you would have laughed out loud at the utter absurdity of it all. However since being hired as a junior auror at the Ministry and being partnered with Tonks, you had come to realise that nothing was ever going to go how you imagined and apart from the whole terror the country was under right now you couldn’t help but feel rather alive and excited at the prospect. 

To be escorted to order meetings was a new security measure being tested out by the Order of the Phoenix; secret society dedicated to fighting evil, particularly one type of evil: Voldemort. You leaned against the brick wall and looked over at Tonks. She was hopping one foot to the next, her anxious breath visible in the cold night air. You glanced at your watch as your teeth started to chatter; 5:16pm. It’s not that you minded following risk management processes, this one had Moody stamped all over it, it’s just could he have chosen a time that wasn’t so bloody cold. 

“5:17pm they’re late” muttered Tonks. “It’s probably Sirius, he takes ages getting ready. It’s because of his haaiiirrr...” A loud crack behind you stopped Tonks mid-sentence and through the darkness walked out Sirius Black.

He was dressed in grey trousers and a white button down shirt under his traveling cloak. He smiled at you and raised an eyebrow at his cousin, “Good evening ladies. Do you come here often?”  His shoulder length black hair fell in waves around his face and even in the semi darkness, shined with the intensity of a bright star. You chuckled to yourself thinking of Tonk’s previous comment which Sirius took as an appreciation of his joke. His grey eyes sparkled as he winked at you and smirk formed on his lips. That smirk. That face. It was lucky it was so dark and that Sirius’ attention was turned to Tonks who had started to berate him  for his tardiness so the creeping blush up your neck and cheeks went unnoticed.

You had  Immediately and I mean IMMEDIATELY been taken with Sirius.  Your first order meeting you had been nervous enough and then he had walked in. Commanded the meeting and set everyone objectives for the next week.  His demeanour, voice, looks, lean physique, the way he clenched his fists whenever the injustices of the current climate were mentioned oh and his hair..... it annoyed you that someone could turn your head so quickly and you felt foolish. You didn’t see a ring on his hand, of course you had looked, but on first impression this did not seem like a man who was short of a partner or three. Trying to sound nonchalant, you asked Tonks at work the next day about him. She threw you a knowing look before telling you he was a flirt and a ladies man but his time in Azkaban had sobered him up to the ways of the world and now his main focus is on bringing down Voldemort. In other words he has no interest and time for relationships fleeting or otherwise. Still you continued to admire Sirius from afar, never getting too close in case your beating heart gave you away each time he spoke. 

”How about it Y/N?” Suddenly being pulled out of your revere you blinked to find Sirius and Tonks looking at you with amused grins on their faces.  “Earth to Y/N!” laughed Tonks. “Huh?” You muttered stupidly . “Drinks after the meeting tonight? Sirius has finally been declared a free man and we are going to celebrate!” 

“Of course if you have elsewhere to be we won’t pressure you” added Sirius 

“No, no that’d be great” you managed a weak smile still dazed from reminiscing  “where are we going?”

“Only the best for my two favourite aurors” grinned Sirius. “He’s only saying that Y/N to butter us up and buy him drinks” Sirius barked out a laugh at this and threw his arm over his cousin, while gesturing you to follow.  “Well if you insist! What is your drink of choice Y/N”  You fell in step beside Sirius as he lead you to the usual apparation spot for Order meetings. Being brought up in the muggle world and having frequent holidays with your parents you answered  “bubbly, but i’ll throw you a couple of tequila shots to get you started Siruis.”  “Tequila? Sounds troublesome. I’m in” Sirius grinned at you before placing a hand on your arm and apparating you and Tonks to number 12 Grimmauld Place. 

Sirius was always polite towards you if a little distant and you hadn’t helped the matter by trying to make yourself scarce pre and post the weekly meetings. However tonight, with the gleam in his eye and the smirk on his lips you could help but wonder if Sirius was going to get friendly after all. You brushed that though from your mind as you appeared with a crack on the door step of Grimmauld Place. Of course Sirius is feeling friendly he is your friend after all isn’t he? He’s also just been declared a free man, this must feel like an enormous weight off his shoulders. Of course you will attend - there hasn’t been a lot to celebrate as of late thanks to you know who and his deplorable minions. You could use a blow out and get to know some of the more senior Order members. If you had been paying attention as you walked through the old oak front door being held open by Sirius you would have noticed the turn of his head and the glance at your body showing you that he too might have been hiding some more than friendly thoughts about you. Tonks noticed though. And she smiled to herself. Remus owed her 5 galleons after all...


	2. Never Have I Ever...Part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One too many shots of tequila later...

One too many shots of tequila later and here are a few things you have found out about Sirius:

-He has been in love twice. Once at Hogwarts and once briefly a year after. The first was puppy love and the second went down in a blaze of dragon fire as he cheated on her. Admittedly he said that he had never felt so bad and never wants to feel like that again (among other feelings you imagine) but said the relationship was doomed anyway.  
-He has never tried tequila (it showed) -Has had 15 broken bones and counting on various occasions  
-Would  ‘Marry, Murder, Fuck’ Minerva McGonagall, Rita Skeeter, and Mad-Eye-Moody in that order  
-Wet his pants once at school after a bet with James at who could last longer without the toilet  
-Is currently teaching himself bass guitar

 

Things Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Bill, Ron, Harry, and Luna found out about you:  
-Patronus is a corgi  
-Been in love once: he left you for a friend (everyone very kindly took a shot for this) “Don’t worry it worked out well in the end!” you exclaimed trying not to laugh at Harry who had choked midway through his shot and was now red in the face and coughing hoarsely.  
-Has had one broken bone from jumping down the stairs at aged 8  
-Absolutely flipped out when you received your letter from Hogwarts. Your parents are muggles and were so proud. You recall your Father’s reaction being a wry smile and something along the lines of:  “well that explains a lot.”   
-You sing in musicals and in the shower in your spare time.

 

‘My turn! My turn!’ Sirius exclaimed after the laughter had died down. Y/N:  ‘Marry, Murder, or Fuck,’ Remus, Bill, or me?!

“I don’t think you are supposed to include people who are actually playing Sirius” said Remus glancing quickly at Tonks to gauge her reaction at her husband being on trial in quite frankly now you come to think of it a ridiculous game of ‘what ifs’ and ‘never going to happens’  but Sirius refused to be swayed prompting you to answer: “Remus, Sirius, Bill..in that order earning you high five from Bill, a gratified nod from Remus and a rather amused looking Sirius..almost like he didn’t believe you...

 

First to tap out was Harry, followed by Tonks, Bill, and Remus. Luna was holding her own until she caught sight of a nargle and left to investigate further.  She vomited.

Ron, who was drink for drink with you and Sirius got called out by a rather angry looking Hermione - apparently he had a job interview tomorrow in which a hangover was not part of the desirable criteria.

 

So by the end of the night it was just you and Sirius. The questions became more and more lewd however the two of you found nothing but hilarity in each others answers. It was surprising how relaxed and comfortable you felt around him...thank you tequila. Sirius’ questions continued to probe into your life especially that of your love life....current love life. Who were you seeing? What type? Did you prefer to make the first move? How long do you wait to know someone before you have sex?

 

If you weren’t so tipsy. Nay, drunk, you would have noticed that these questions where leading somewhere...somewhere Sirius had been before and frequently pre-Azkaban. 

 

In his warm, euphoric (drunk) state Sirius had forgotten that he was a broken man fresh from a 12 year stint in the most foulest of hell holes - lacking confidence and complete with occasional mood swings, and internal self doubts. If he had grown up watching muggle movies he would have accurately diagnosed himself as a man who had lost his mojo. It wasn’t like he didn’t have offers he just couldn’t and wouldn’t deliver on them. You see Azkaban takes a lot from a person, it took a lot from Sirius and one of the things he wasn’t expecting to lose was his sex drive. Gone were the days of wild all night sex, hungry kisses behind closed doors, and that beautiful feeling of a crush growing into something more...or so he thought.  Lately, he hadn’t been able to conjure enough lustful thoughts to feel aroused and that had only depressed him further. As well as depressed, he felt impotent, numb and at times panicked. If he had known the term he would have describe himself as PTSD but instead he thought it was his own fault for getting himself locked up to begin with and that he deserved to not feel like the man he used to be. Sirius had started to give up any semblance of finding a partner and in all honesty he wagered that the little he had to offer was enough to warrant a celibate life anyway. Y/N on the other hand was stirring some long lost feelings within Sirius. The main one being a warm tingling sensation in his chest and up his spine: excitement. Right now he felt alive.

 

This was apparent to you however you knew that’s what tequila did to people so you thought nothing of it and continued to question and answer questions on your ever increasing dirty game. Remus, on the other hand, who had had many a night imbibing various spirits with Sirius knew that the tequila was not having this affect on his friend at all. In fact, all alcohol did for Sirus these days was make him solemn and morose.

 

Remus scratched his chin as he watched Sirius throw his head back and laugh at your latest response and thought to himself that if he still knew Sirius like he thought he did, he would be seeing a lot more of you at Grimmauld Place.


	3. Never Have I Ever...Part Three

It had been three weeks since the ‘tequila night’ and your feelings for Sirius had not dampened in the slightest. If anything they had grown. Learning about his love of 70s rock music, his distaste for cruelty and exclusiveness, hearing stories from his days at hogwarts and feeling pain for the boy banished by his maniacal parents, he was hands down the most interesting person you had ever met. He was charming, happy, and so very witty. This was so different to the grim, disheveled Sirius you had met only 7 weeks ago, and so you were very grateful to the Ministry for finally officiating his innocence. From what you had come to learn about Sirius, he had not deserved his fate yet he blamed no one and was as dedicated as the most faithful soldier to ensure the safety and freedom of witch, wizard, muggle alike. He was the most beautiful and broken man who deserved the world and your heart started to make room for Sirius, not because you felt sorry for him but you admired his integrity, courage, and strength and god he made you laugh. You thought back to that night often. It was incredibly enjoyable but boy did you pay for it the next day at work…. 

“Here you go, take a swig of this and you’ll be right as rain, well at least a lesser shade of green.” Tonks held out a cup of tea as she sat on your desk and stifled a giggle at your bedraggled appearance. You shot her a look of gratitude. As you accepted the mug she was proffering Tonks cleared her throat. “So ah, what happened between you and Sirius last night?” 

“What do you mean?” You blew on your tea. 

“Well I hate to break it to you but he was flirting up a storm with you and I wasn’t the only one who noticed!” She folded her arms in a sort of  _so there_! gesture, her pink hair gleaming.   

You smiled at her defiant posture “didn’t you tell me that’s what he does? Flirt?” 

“Well…” Tonks unwrapped her arms “…yes he does but that was before Azkaban. Remus said he hasn’t seen Sirius show interest in anyone since he got out, five years ago.” 

“Yes but he was still thought guilty by most of the wizarding world, I’m sure the ministry finally recognising him as the innocent man he is has lifted the burden from his shoulders, he’ll be getting back to his old self.” You reasoned sipping your tea. 

Tonks considered you for a moment. “Did you not see the plethora of women and men for that matter, approach him last night? And him waving them off only having eyes for you?” 

She took your widened eyes and dribble of tea down your chin as a no, you hadn’t noticed that.  

“It’s not just last night.” Tonks continued. “He stares at you during meetings when you are not looking, and I heard him ask Remus that he hopes he would get paired with you during missions.” 

“Nymphadora! Y/N! Quit your gas bagging and get back to work!” 

Tonks waved Moody off and turned back to you as she stood up from your desk. She was smiling now at your frozen expression.  

So Sirius Black, may or may not be harbouring feelings for you. This was new. 

\- - - 

Across town Sirius had just woken up, lying face first on his bed fully clothed. He moaned and grasped his head. Sitting up very slowly he gingerly rubbed his temples as he tried to recall the previous evening… 

There was Remus and Bill, Harry, his friends and you. He recalled playing a muggle drinking game that you had taught everyone, about who you would rather….oh god! Sirius stood upright. Had he actually asked you if you would rather sleep with him or Bill?! He groaned loudly to the empty room and slapped his hand to his forehead causing him to stumble back to a sitting position on his bed. “Great…” he mumbled to himself  “now she’ll think you are a sleazy old man.” 

He didn’t want you to see him as old and pushy he wanted you to choose him all on your own. You intrigued him, you had the moment you walked into your first order meeting. He was, at that point in time, too caught up in his own worries to see it but now he reasoned you had always turned his head. What was it about you? He didn’t know but he wanted to find out. He hoped you could like him, you certainly made him want things, things he had let go since Azkaban but were now popping up and bursting into his subconscious like bubbles in a champagne glass.  

He hadn’t felt this light in a long time and it wasn’t just the weight of having the wizarding world unfairly think he was a traitor and a murderer lifted from his shoulders – he had come to terms with that years ago. It was you. You were intelligent, funny, and kind. He liked hearing your take on things and you had definitely proved yourself a capable auror if your mission reports were anything to go by. It was more than that though… 

Thinking of last night and how he made you laugh until you were gasping for breath made him want to do other things for you that left you breathless. He couldn’t just come out and ask you – he still felt the age gap and did not want to pressure you – instead he thought he would show you the man he could be and hope that you would see him, really see him beyond the façade of his, admittedly, good looks and reputation.  

Sirius laced his fingers together and stretched his arms in front of him dropping his head he looked down and was surprised but pleased to see a hard bulge in his pants: morning wood. The lack of interest in life in general his member has showed these days was a major tell tale sign that no matter how good the physical progress he made, he was still mentally trapped in Azkaban’s clutches.  

Sirius smiled to himself, he got up, undressed, and walked to the bathroom; this was going to be a good day. He took his time in the shower letting the hot water jets massage his shoulders, hummed Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’ as he scrubbed his body and, of course, he thought of you.  

 

Over the next few weeks you noticed a change in Sirius. It started with a smile here and there, looks that lingered a little too long and the briefest of touches; a hand lightly on the small of your back as he moved passed you, an elbow nudging your arm when he joked which now come to think of it was more than frequent. He was friendlier, warmer, and showing you much more attention. 

It wasn’t just you affected by this new demeanour. The change in Sirius since his Ministry declaration of freedom was palpable. Order meetings had become everyone’s favourite day for the week. Not only had the company improved, the meals were delicious – if he wasn’t the perfect host before, Grimmauld Place had turned into the height of hospitality, and that man could cook. From grilled salmon, to honey soy ribs, roast chicken, glazed ham, and buttered potatoes. “Sirius this is the best one so far” said Kingsley satisfactorily patting his stomach after finishing an entrée of white wine and garlic mussels as he sat round the grand dinning table at Grimmauld Place one Wednesday night.  

“Appreciate it mate, what did you think Y/N.” Sirius turned to you seated at the middle of the dinning table. 

It was perhaps unfortunate that at this precise moment you had taken a mouthful and unsuccessfully tried to swallow and answer Sirius at the same time. In your haste you coughed and spluttered before being able to respond with a raspy “It was really good Sirius.” While Arthur Weasley patted you on the back.  

Sirius’ grey eyes sparkled and a slow smile formed on his lips. This was one of those times when he looked at you for too long to be considered decent. Aware of your reddening face you turned away. 

 _Try and hold yourself together Y/N otherwise it is going to be a long night_ _!_ You internally scolded yourself. You had a mission to complete tonight and not an easy one. It was going to be dangerous enough without you starting to choke on your words every time Sirius spoke to you. He had joined you and other Order members on missions for two weeks now, however tonight was going to be just you and him, and you better keep it together and stay cool out there.  

——— 

“How many do you see?” Sirius’ whispered breath caught in the night air.  

Lying on your stomach behind a wall of shrubbery you glanced around the fenced park and answered, “five in total: one on your left, two at my 4 O’Clock and two at the park entrance straight ahead of that huge oak.” 

As missions go this was by far the most exciting (an dangerous) you had been on. As a junior auror and Order member, you had primarily been sent on reconnaissance missions. Now you had ‘graduated’ to full on stakeouts. This meant tracking and tagging known Death Eater operations, recording their movements and trying to stay out of sight. A rule which didn’t always go to plan.  

Graduating to this level of mission also put you in league with the big boys. You were now looking at missions where you would be joining Sirius, Remus, Bill, and Kingsley but tonight was just you and Sirius. Apart from the increasing crush you had on him, Sirius was your favourite Order Member, he was a wealth of knowledge in defence and combat and was more than happy to share some with you.  Without a doubt you had learnt more from him in two weeks than 2 years of auror training.  

“Two at the park entrance?” He repeated. “The only inconspicuous exit out of here? If they are Death Eaters then so much for keeping a low profile…ok what should we do Y/N” 

——— 

This was why you loved working with Sirius, he figured that the best way to learn was on the job so every mission you completed with him he treated you like the boss and helped guide you when you were unsure. So far it had been working out well and your tactical skills had improved dramatically. You knew he was building your confidence bit by bit and you appreciated it immensely. 

You asked Sirius after an order meeting one night if he minded “tutoring” you, would he not prefer a more ‘seasoned’ partner? He laughed at your term and shook his head swatting his hand back and forth as if waving your concern from the air. He told you his help was payback from the loan of your music collection. After finding out he loved music from the 70s you went home and raided your fathers shelves for all his classics, Motown to The Rolling Stones. Sirius was delighted and had made his way through most of the old records already. If truth be told Sirius helped you more on missions because seeing you was the favourite part of his day, he really enjoyed your company, actually he more than enjoyed it, he sought it out; offering to complete mission reports with you, suggesting Remus and Tonks stay for a nightcap after meetings in the hope you would too. Even popping into the Ministry with coffee on his way into town just to see you for a minute.  

Sirius’ initial intrigue of you was growing in to something much bigger. Sometimes Remus caught his friend looking at you too long or watching the clock tick before Order meetings commenced and he shook his head with alarm. It wasn’t unusual for Sirius to get hooked on a woman but these idle crushes tended to stay as they were, brief moments of lust and like before moving into the next adventure. That’s how he had lived his life before Azkaban. However that was 17 years ago, now he was operating without wires, confused, comparing everything he felt as a 21 year old and it wasn’t adding up. He shouldn’t be thinking of you this much? Memorising your favourite meal to prepare for missions, figuring out that you bit your bottom lip when you are nervous or accidentally finding himself smelling perfumes at a muggle department store to see if he can pick the exact one you wear the same one that made is eyes cloud over with desire and urge him to grab you by the waist and kiss you in front of everyone. _I’m losing it,_ Sirius thought to himself. He was falling in love, thought Remus. 

——— 

Whether this was true or not, it was that very perfume Sirius was inhaling as you both lay on the damp earth peering over a collection of topiary while waiting for you to think of an escape plan.  

“We have one main instruction. Regardless of who these men are, do not get our faces seen.” You turned to Sirius. “If we do they will know we have tracked this place and will move locations or speed up their plans before we can intercept, we cannot apparate or they’ll hear it.” You swallowed slowly. While turning to look straight ahead. “We are going to have to try to sneak out of here without magic and without being seen.” 

You raised your self to crouching position and Sirius did the same.  

Pointing at the large old Oak in the South East corner of the park you breathed “Let’s get behind that tree and make a dash for it when they aren’t looking” You took Sirius’ nod as approval of your plan and stated to move. Looking around you beckoned Sirius to quickly sprint to the cover of the tree’s thick trunk.  

Catching your breath you queried, “Why are supposed Death Eaters congregating in a private park in the middle of London? Only Muggles and residents use this space.” 

“They are guarding something and are on the look out for interference judging by the magic- alerts they have placed around the area. Easier to spot wizards in the middle of muggle residents.” He pointed up to several rippling vapers circling the air above the park.  

You groaned. You hadn’t noticed these, they would trigger if any unaccounted for magic was used therefore rendering yourself and Sirius at a disadvantage. Perhaps this was why you were selected for this mission – as a muggleborn, you were thought to deal better without magic than other non-muggleborn members. That is a question for another day you reasoned internally as you both settled behind the safety of the tree. It truly was grand, at least four metres thick and who knows how many feet tall.  

While Sirius was peering around the side of the trunk you whispered “all we have to do is make it 20-30 metres to that entrance, cross the street and apparate outside the magi-alarms boundaries – preferably out of sight line.” You bit your lip looking at Sirius back, god he was well formed: broad shoulders, tall, and from the look of his forearms, muscled under his clothes. Shaking that thought from your mind you pressed further, “What are they doing?” Sirius had clocked the two people standing at the entrance but he still wasn’t close enough to establish if they were indeed Death Eaters. They seemed to be just talking.  

“I can’t get a good visual” he said without taking his eyes of the targets.  

“Well is there a chance they that are muggles and we can just walk past like we were taking a night time stroll?” Although you already knew the answer.  

Sirius gave you a side smile before gazing back at the direction of your only escape route. “I’d like to think that too, but given the magi-alarms and the fact there are three others prowling over north west side of the park I’d say they are definitely Death Eaters….I’m just not sure which ones. If I could get a closer look then we’d know what kind of operation. We are dealing with.” 

You had learnt that the bigger and badder the Death Eater, the more important and seriously dangerous their operation. It stemmed from trafficking illegal potions to patrolling residents of Imperious curse victims.  

Sirius turned around, back against the trunk next to you. “I think we will be able to sneak out the right side of the entrance, they have moved down towards the parked car on the left, if we could only see their faces to report back.” As he stroked his jaw a twig cracked  somewhere in the distance in front of you. You looked at each other. The same thought flashing across each other’s face – there was a sixth man. Fuuuuuuuck! 

Adrenaline surged through and your training kicked in allowing you the clarity to take stock of the situation: you were two people in a park at night, dressed as muggles with hidden - but still at the ready - wands. You couldn’t risk being seen, you needed to blend in and become muggles. Or at least appear as such. But how? This was London, many muggles liked to stroll in the park but not usually at night. The only people you had ever seen at the park at night were homeless men, teenagers sipping on a bottle of their parents Christmas sherry and…couples.  

You got it. But oh god…how in the utter heck could you do it? The sounds of someone approaching we’re getting louder now and there was nowhere to hide nearby without definitely giving yourselves away. You had to just go for it. Grabbing Sirius’ arm, an arm that was mere millimetres away from his wand, you pulled him until he was standing in front of you. Backed up against the tree trunk you looked at him and quickly muttered “I know this will seem an odd request right now but could you please kiss me?” 


	4. Never Have I Ever...Part four

Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+ 

 _Recap: You grabbed Sirius’ arm, an arm that was mere millimetres away from his wand, and pulled him so he was in front of you. Backed up against the tree trunk you looked up at him and quickly muttered “I know this will seem an odd request_ _but could you please kiss me?”_  

* * *

 

He blinked for a fraction of a second then, you had to hand it to him, he smirked. “I’m honoured you want to kiss me Y/N but is this really the time?!” 

You huffed at him impatiently before hissing out your plan. “Yes this is exactly the time! We can’t be seen – as wizards. We  _can_ be seen as muggles. We look like muggles and if you kiss me he won’t see our faces – hopefully he’ll just think we are two people making out secretly in the park and not bother us further!” 

Sirius was visibly impressed. Still he hesitated. It’s not that he didn’t want to kiss you -hell no- your lips frequently appeared in his dreams, it’s just if he kissed you right now he would risk losing his reflexes – he wanted this, he had wanted it for a while now but he was afraid that if he kissed you here he would melt and lose his ability to protect you if things went awry. However you were right, it was a brilliant idea… 

“What are you afraid I’ll bite, Black?!” Your voice shook him out of his head.  

His grey eyes, now dark and stormy with desire, excitement, and fear, bore into yours. He placed his hands either side of your face, leaned down and kissed you.  

This was a bad idea.  

There was no way you could keep conscious of the impending dangerous situation if he was going to kiss you like that; soft at first and then getting deeper and deeper until you could feel his tongue flick across your bottom lip.  

One hand still holding your cheek, the other moving slowly down to grip your waist and pull you to him. He broke the kiss and leaned to the side, peppering your neck with more kisses, his stubble scraping the side of your jaw. “How close is he?” Sirius breathed into your ear.  

It was then you opened your eyes and realised you had wrapped your arms around his neck. “Uh…um” You spluttered. “I can’t really see past your shoulder.” 

There was a beat and in one fluid movement Sirius had dropped both his hands, bent down, grabbed your thighs and lifted you up wrapping your legs around his waist.  

Your back hard against a wall of bark, he pushed himself against you using one hand to hold you up and the other to steady himself against the trunk before he leaned his head to the side and asked you again. 

Wholly mother fucking fuck! This man! It took all your strength of will to wrench your thoughts away from the feeling of his thumping heart beat, hard chest, and intoxicating smell of vetiver and orange musk. 

You squinted over his shoulder into the darkness, his wavy hair tickling your lips as you tried to calm your breathing. Yes this situation was potentially dangerous but it was the feel of this man and the touch of his lips on your skin that had your heart all a flutter.  

He kept kissing your neck and jaw while your eyes adjusted to the darkness. If you had asked him why, he would have said it was to keep up the act of seeming like a couple but he knew, as well as you did, kissing each other felt so so good.  

As you glanced around you saw and heard nothing. It seemed that your quarry had gone. To be sure you moved your sight line to Sirius’ other shoulder, but not before placing another open mouthed kiss on his lips. This one was more hurried. God he was a good kisser. He tasted like honey and something tart at the same time and as you laced your fingers through his hair he leaned into you further, pressing your hips into his while he moved his tongue against yours.  

It was getting harder and harder to concentrate and just as you thought that it was going to be difficult to explain this moment as anything other than a full on make out session, it happened… 

 

Sirius was in ecstasy, your warm lips on his. He could feel your breasts pressed against his chest and your hand moving through his hair. He was losing it, so fucking close to apparating the two of you back to his bedroom to spend the night worshipping your body, showing you just how much he wanted you when there was a flash of light and your hand tightening on his head before falling limp.  

You broke apart, he looked at you -  another flash of light illuminating your face – you were white as a ghost, staring at a spot behind his right shoulder. You had been discovered.  

Not bothering to turn around, Sirius cupped the back of your head and apparated both of you to Grimmauld Place. Rules or no rules something was wrong and his first thought was to get you to safety.  

Stumbling into the hallway, Sirius raced you to the kitchen calling out in the hope someone from the order was still there. Luckily Remus, Arthur, and Bill were standing over the table wrapping up the last of their reports for the next meeting.  

Their surprised faces quickly turned to shock seeing Sirius standing there holding you in his arms looking panicked.  

Sirius lay you on the kitchen table, still conscious but faced screwed up in pain, sweat dripping profusely from your forehead.  

“My arm!” You gasped clutching your elbow. “It feels like it’s breaking! Sirius!” You looked at him with wide eyes. “I saw him! The second flash of light. I didn’t recognise him - he was short, he had long blond hair, a goatee, and a big scar running down his left cheek.” 

You screwed your eyes up at the effort of staying conscious. This was the worst pain you had ever felt and it wasn’t stopping. It felt like shards of your bones were breaking off one by one starting at your hand and resonating down to your elbow.  

Over your head Sirius and Remus looked at each other. “That’s Dalziel.” Said Remus. “He’s a B-tier Death Eater.” In your agonising state you still managed to look questioningly at Remus.  _B-tier?_  

“He’s a drunk.” Answered Arthur correctly analysing your confusion. “Voldemort wouldn’t use him for anything serious as he is often not on the best form, still…” he scratched his chin, “it may be worth it to check out what he and his colleagues were up to.”  

Examining your arm, Arthur turned to his son, “Bill let’s take Y/N back to the Burrow with us. She seems to be losing the bones in her arm piece by piece.” 

“It’s ok!” He said quickly catching your horrified expression. “Molly can contain the curse and then give you a potion to grow them back overnight.” 

“Skele-Gro?” You asked weakly as Sirius said “Surely Remus and I can look after Y/N here?” 

Arthur patted him on the shoulder and replied “don’t worry, with six boys Molly has repaired many broken bones before, Y/N is in good hands. You should rest, if you hadn’t brought her back here straight away this could have been much worse.” He turned to you once more now smiling and said “Anyway, Charlie is home and I know he is anxious to see you!” 

“Charlie is back?” You asked startled. It had been an age since you had seen your good friend. Only a couple of years apart at Hogwarts you had bonded over a mutual love for magical creatures and the rest of your friendship was history. Smiling weakly at the memory of summer holidays at the Burrow you allowed yourself to be scooped up by Bill and carried out the door.  

Before he left Arthur turned to Sirius, “great work tonight, with any luck we will be able to halt whatever unscrupulous side business Dalziel is running, and no need to be concerned, Y/N will be well in no time. Molly’s healing skills not withstanding, Charlie will perk her up – they were thick as thieves at Hogwarts.” He smiled warmly and added “ so much so Molly and I thought they would have got engaged had he not left to chase dragons in Romania!” Missing the mortified look on Sirius’ face, Arthur tipped his hat to Remus and followed his son out the door.  

Sirius ran his hand through his hair as Remus poured two large glasses of fire whiskey. Handing one to Sirius, Remus pondered before asking; “there is one thing I don’t understand though. Why did Dalziel send a curse for Y/N’s arm?” 

“He was aiming for my head.” Sirius said before draining his glass in one.  

“Your head?” Said Remus incredulously. “I knew he was a bad shot but really!?” 

“Y/N’s arm was wrapped around my head.” Try as he might Sirius couldn’t disguise his pleasure while uttering this statement.  

“Oh Padfoot, you didn’t?!” Remus exclaimed. Knowing Sirius in his younger years this was not completely out of the ordinary but did Sirius suddenly look slightly bashful? 

“It’s not what you think, Moony…unfortunately” beseeched Sirius “Look, pour me another one and I’ll fill you in.” 

——— 

Over at the Burrow you had a long night ahead of you. Molly had stopped the curse from continuing to break off shards of your bones and administered a solution of Skele-Gro. Now you just had to wait for the pain to pass.  

It was great to see Charlie, you had missed your friend and couldn’t wait to hear about his adventures. However the regrowth of your bones was so painful Molly had insisted of giving you a sleeping draught in the hope you would sleep through the more painful parts of the healing process.  

Charlie had offered you his bed while he took the couch downstairs, so it was in a small but cosy room where multiple posters of dragons watched you close your eyes while thinking of Sirius’ hands, his perfect mouth, and the taste of him, as you fell into a dreamless sleep.  

Sirius was still up. After explaining the majority of the night’s events to Remus, his adrenaline had started to finally die down.  

“How was it?” Remus asked after a moments silence.  

“It was hard.” Sirius answered thinking he was referring to the mission in general.  

“I bet it was!” Remus laughed his hazel eyes twinkling with mirth.  

Sirius threw his head back and barked out a laugh and the two of them chatted happily for the next hour. As they finished their drinks, Remus stood to leave. Casting one look at Sirius he paused before speaking: “they are probably not more than friends, Padfoot.” 

Sirius raised his head and gave a tight lipped smile, nodding to his friend as he followed Arthur’s route out the door and into the night.  

Hopefully Remus was right. Sirius rubbed his jaw. He was fairly certain the feeling was mutual between you and himself. Tired yet feeling somewhat elated, Sirius gathered himself up, made his way upstairs and got ready for bed. He hoped you were all right and not in too much pain. He wanted to see you desperately and tell you he had very much enjoyed this evening. Though kissing him was part of a cover, the way you touched him and moved your lips against his was, he was sure, not. Maybe it was wishful thinking but the sparks that flew when you kissed and the look in your eyes when he held you said something.  

Dozing lightly with thoughts pouring through his head, Sirius decided that he would go and see you tomorrow, bring you coffee and gauge where your feelings were at. Hopefully they matched his.  

He smiled slightly in his doze and allowed himself to recall your legs wrapped around and squeezing his waist.  

Though his sleep was not dreamless like yours, it was just as pleasant and invigorating. 

\---- 

You were awake early, your arm had fully recovered and after a hearty breakfast at the Weasley’s you were feeling good, better than good… 

“What are you grinning at?” Charlie gently shoved your shoulder. He had offered to escort you to work for two reasons: 1. He wanted to drop in on his Father who had left for the Ministry before anyone else was awake; and 2. To help you stop his Mother fussing over you.  

“Nothing!” You lied trying to hide your smile. “Just really pleased with Sirius and my work on the mission last night.” 

“Oh yeah? Which ‘work’ would you be referring to?” Charlie held up his hands and mimed quotation marks in mid air as he said the word: work. “Don’t forget, sister from another mister, I can read you like a book!” 

You rolled your eyes and blew a raspberry poking Charlie through the Ministry entrance. 

————  

Sirius was having a good morning as well. He woke early, got up, dressed, and made his way out of the house with a plan to visit you at work and see where the land lay. Wearing fitted black jeans and a light blue shirt Sirius looked fresh and handsome. Certainly the barista at the coffee shop thought so and told him as such. Chuckling quietly to himself Sirius picked up two coffees and continued on his way to the Ministry.  

———— 

“So this is your office?” Charlie hummed approvingly looking around at a large mahogany room on the first floor. “Shared office” you corrected “all the junior aurors have a desk in here.” As you placed your jacket on your chair you caught sight of a cell phone on your desk. “Oh bugger, I left my phone here last night.” Noticing the 20 missed calls flashing across the screen you looked at Charlie, “is there any chance your Mum called my parents and told them what happened last night?” 

Charlie shrugged “probably, you know my Mother, she worries!” As he said that your phone vibrated in your hand indicating an incoming call. Most of your wizarding friends didn’t keep or know about a cell phone, it was surprising yours was working surrounded by a lot of magic, most muggle technology didn’t, but you figured your Mother’s determination to get hold of you knew no bounds – especially when she thought you were in trouble.  

“Mum! Hi! …yes…no I’m fine…it’s just a…it’s just a scratch.” Charlie grinned while flipping through the case files on your desk. Your Mother reminded him of his and he would not want to be you right now. You will have to make it up to her for worrying her so.  

“Mum I can’t hear you? It’s cutting…I’m at work…let’s talk Friday night at dinner?” 

“FRIDAY NIGHT LETS DO DINNER?” You half yelled down the phone while slapping Charlie’s hand away from the perfectly ordered files on your desk. You were proud of those and he did treat you like a little sister - messing up your hair at any chance he got, tripping you up in corridors -  you wouldn’t put it past him to ‘accidentally’ spill your papers on the floor. He was really like Fred and George sometimes.  

“I’ll see you latter, gonna go find Dad” he mouthed backing out of the room. You nodded and resumed your conversation on the phone: “Ok Mum…ok…”  _god the signal was awful in here._  “I LOVE YOU!” 

“I LOVE YOU TOO, DARLING!” yelled Charlie in jest as you hung up the phone. He grinned cheekily and walked out the door.  

You poked your tongue out at him and silently thanked the timing gods that none of your colleagues were in and no one had heard that conversation.  

Someone did hear it though, or at least part of it… 

He had heard ‘Dinner on Friday’ Followed by ‘ love you’ with the final blow seeing Charlie Weasley back out of your office proclaiming that he loved you too.  

Sirius stood frozen on the first floor landing, holding two coffees and feeling his heart drop to the floor.  _More than friends._  

That is the moment when Sirius realised he was in love with you. It is also when he started sleeping around.


	5. Never Have I Ever...Part five. Final Part.

Warnings: swearing, angst, sexual themes, smut, 18+ Not for minors. Please do not read if you are under 18.  

Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+ 

* * *

 

Of course you are more than friends! Charlie is young, whole, and comes from a good family. ~ _I must be pretty stupid to read into one night when you were both technically working. What was I thinking?!_  ~ Sirius berated himself.  

He walked through his front door into the empty house, the two coffees long forgotten in a rubbish bin outside the Ministry entrance.  

~I love you too, darling.~ Charlie’s words kept playing in his head.  

Bent over his kitchen table, hands gripping the back of a chair, Sirius shook his head, scoffed humorlessly to himself and for the first time in his life he did not stop the words ‘this is not fair’ pulse through his brain.  

There were three times in Sirius’ life that he could definitely consider unfair: when he realised the type of family he had been born into, when James and Lily died, and when he got sent to Azkaban instead of Peter.  

Knowing how destructive that sentence could be, he refused to give it room in his head. As a young adult Sirius was many things: reckless, impulsive, rash, but to survive Azkaban like he did, he had to not feel sorry for himself, stick to the facts; thoughts that carried far less emotive power and try to remember who he was.  

Sirius was incredibly mentally resilient to be able to not succumb to the dementors despair by madness or death like most of the poor inmates. In some instances he was mentally stronger than his pairs. However, in others, being incarcerated for 12 years during his 20s had left Sirius in a stunted and somewhat delayed sense of emotional development. Azkaban had stolen from him many simple and often taken for granted life lessons; first heart break, first rejection, first real adult relationship and the accompanying learning curve these lessons provide.  

Visions of you and Charlie squeezed his heart in a suffocating way stirring up a wave of emotions such as loss, sadness, and if only’s as well as a self destructive phase Sirius should have learnt from in his younger years. Not being able to handle anymore situations in which he emerged the loser, Sirius went out. Then out again the next night when it was Friday and you would be going out on your date with Charlie. He continued this two nights later, the night after, and then more nights after that.  

Sirius got drunk, really drunk and threw himself into the willing arms of many women in the hope they would soothe his soul and make him feel love.  

You see you had not only awakened the emotions of lust and desire in Sirius, you had made him want things; to love and be loved.  

This did not go away after realising you couldn’t be his so he followed an old pattern when his needs weren’t met by trying, in vain, to get these needs met elsewhere.  

It was futile and by the second week he realised he was only going to make himself feel worse.  

No one felt, smelt, or tasted like you and as your name fell from his lips when he came he understood that though, for the briefest of moments at the height of his pleasure, did he feel good, when he opened his eyes and didn’t see you there just the warm gaze of a stranger he knew he needed to stop.  

Apart from hurting his heart, he was also putting his health at risk. A scare that came to nothing in his teens, taught Sirius always to make sure to practise safe sex and receive regular check ups but he couldn’t hold alcohol like he used to and he was getting sloppy. If he wasn’t careful soon he could be in trouble. So he stopped.  

 

You had not failed to notice Sirius’ new stony façade. He constantly smelt like cigarettes, was brief and distant at meetings and - according to Tonks who had been filled in by Remus – had turned up to missions tired, smelling also of stale alcohol and multiple different women’s cologne.  

So he was a flirt you thought. And now he was getting his end away all over town.  

“I’m such an idiot” you muttered to yourself one morning at work. You had been thinking about Sirius a lot over the last few weeks post the kissing incident and the accompanying sudden turn of events.  

It hurt, really hurt that someone you admire so much and you think you had started to fall for could seemingly forget who you are. You still saw him each week but he looked past you and moved quickly away.  

Fuck! Sometimes you thought you had really blown it and you cursed yourself for what now seemed like pressuring him into kissing you. Did you irreversibly create such an awkwardness by loving him that he had no choice but to pretend you didn’t exist? Then other days you felt irritation at the man who had flirted with you, gave you hope for something more then took it away.  

180s in behaviour from people was nothing new to you. Having experienced that fickle behaviour in partners before you tried not to let yourself get too down with the well reasoned thought that ‘you can’t please everyone’ and ‘not everybody is a good match’ …Sirius though, you really felt like he was.  

It was his prerogative to sleep with and be with whoever he wanted and god if he didn’t miss out on sowing some wild oats in his 20s. If this was what he really wanted you would try to accept, get over, and move forward from it – feeling glad for the moment you shared and for the man who taught you so much. ~ _Be happy for him, he deserves a lot after all._ ~ You told yourself.  

He didn’t seem very happy though. He had asked Kingsley to take over meetings – an ominous sign – while he sat in the corner, moody and aloof.  

You shook your head chastising yourself ~ _wishful thinking Y/N_ ~ before Tonks, who was walking past the staff kitchen interrupted your thoughts. “You were stirring that coffee the last time I walked past, ten minutes ago! I think it’s done Y/N. Now come and help me with this case file for the Death Eaters you and Sirius tracked.” Not noticing you jerk your head at the mention of his name she carried on looking at her notes and continued. “They were trafficking illegal potions and we think - using a bar now as a front since you caught them at that park”. 

“Ok good. Have you narrowed down any areas to check out?” You sipped your coffee before quickly spitting it out. It was cold. Tonks laughed. “Yes I have. Can you help me?” You smiled at her and slung an arm over her shoulder walking you both back to the junior office. Maybe this case would be just what you need to help stop thinking about Sirius, and whatever had happened to make him not be able to look at you anymore. 

 

———— 

 

It is funny that you thought this, though you were incredibly perceptive and observant in some areas, you were not in others. You had failed to notice that Sirius hardly stopped looking at you. Whenever in your presence he watched you, noticing the crinkles of your eyes when you smiled, the curve of your lips as you spoke, and the intense gaze in your eyes.  

He stared at you in a sort of bittersweet torture of his heart. He had stopped drinking (as much) now and focused his energy on fighting Voldemort, putting himself on the most dangerous missions only the very senior aurors undertook thereby hoping to make a better world for the likes of you and Charlie to grow old in.  

This seemed to work and distracting himself from the sting of what could have been, but tonight and on every other Wednesday night he allowed himself to bask in the sight of you. It was a like special treat that left him worse for wear.  

Though you were sad and hurt at his obvious disinterest in you, you couldn’t help but feel like you were missing something. There were a few times when you thought about going to Remus but the embarrassment of admitting you liked Sirius and could Remus find out if he liked you too felt so childish you cringed at the thought.   

Before focusing back on the current order meeting you remembered the words that your Dad told you helped when feelings of sorrow were overwhelming: ‘This too will pass.’  

Lifting your chin up you took a deep breath and exhaled looking straight ahead, accidentally locking eyes with Kingsley across the table at Grimmauld Place. 

“Ah thank you Y/N.” said Kingsley – obviously your eye contact opened you up for something. “That settles it. Y/N and Bill you can case the ‘Frog and Whistle’ and establish if it is indeed a front for the Death Eater’s potions trafficking.” 

Well that made sense. The Frog and Whistle was a pub of interest Tonks had noted in North East London. 

“Great.” Said Bill sending you a quick smile. “I don’t know what Dalziel looks like so Y/N can be the eyes of the operation.” 

Ahhhh… 

Sirius was discretely watching you throughout this exchange. God you were beautiful, even when you were grimacing slightly and looking a tad frightened… 

“I’ll go with them.” Sirius said looking at you then turning to Kingsley. “Y/N only saw him briefly. I would know the man anywhere.” 

Relief washed through you which quickly turned into an unsettling disquiet. He knew… 

As if sensing your deliberation, Sirius added: “if that is alright with you of course, Y/N?” For the first time in weeks he looked at you. A gaze that held so much turmoil, respect, and was that desire? 

Your heart fluttered in your chest as you cleared your throat and said a high pitched “that’d be great….Sirius.”  

“Excellent.” Kingsley clapped his hands together. “Three pairs of eyes will be better than two.” He stood shuffling his papers looking round the table signifying the end of the meeting. “Until next week, then.” 

 

————  

 

Sirius was already at the bar. Standing in his signature black fitted jeans and a white button down shirt. His shirt was rolled up at the sleeves and open at the collar bone; at a glimpse you might see a light dusting of black chest hair – if you were close enough.  

You had chosen a bar leaner; a high table inside the Frog and Whistle. It was directly in front off the entrance and had an excellent view of the bar – no one would be missed should they happen upon this establishment tonight. Nervous for the mission, with mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety about spending time with Sirius alone for the first time in weeks, you tried to focus on the numerous people filtering in and out of the pub.  

Sirius placed two beers on the table and ran his hand through his hair. A move which caused the bottom of his shirt to lift exposing a sliver of toned abdomen and an inch of his underwear.  

You shivered involuntarily. He noticed, halting in front of you, “are you cold Y/N?” His look of concern continued to cause shivers up and down your spine.  

You swallowed and shook your head. “I’m fine!” 

“You’re shivering, we can move out of the draught if you…” he stopped when you placed your hand on his arm.  

“Totally fine Sirius, but thank you though.” You took a sip of your drink and remained quiet. Trying to focus on the matter at hand.  

The pub was full of the usual Friday night atmosphere. People having after work drinks, cheers-ing the week past and the weekend off to come. No one so far looked like they were here for anything else.  

You hadn’t sighted Dalziel yet and your heart gave a little jolt each time you saw a man of similar description. It’s not that you were afraid of him but the sting of his curse was still firmly etched on your mind traumatising you a little.  

Sirius, correctly interpreting your unease, broke the silence, “I don’t see him either, Y/N. This might be a location we can tick off the list.” Wishing he could, but not being able to comfort you in a more affectionate manner he settled with, “Bill should be here shortly, did he say what time he was arriving?” 

“He’s not.” You replied. “Fleur is pregnant and demanded he have one night off this week” You smiled wryly. You wished you had an ounce of that woman’s tenacity! “He asked Charlie to come instead. Oh, there he is.” You waved to Charlie as he walked through the door.  

~ _You’ve got to be kidding me? Of all the fucking luck!_ ~ Sirius couldn’t believe it as he watched you embrace Charlie. He excused himself to the bar under cover of getting the next round after grimly shaking Charlie’s hand.  

“Three IPAs and a shot please.” Fucking hell! Sirius clenched his jaw. So not only was he out with the one woman he wanted and couldn’t have, he had to endure the man who got to have her as well.  

“Cheers mate!” Thanked Charlie, accepting his drink. “Here’s to catching the bastard who broke Y/N’s arm.” 

“I’ll cheers to that! Oh my phone….” You quickly looked at the mobile ringing on the table. “It’s Dad, I’ll have to take this… Hi Dad!” You answered your phone walking away and leaving Charlie and Sirius on their own.  

There were a tense few minutes of silence, unnoticed by Charlie until an attractive woman approached the table and offered to buy Sirius a drink. Much to Charlie’s horror, Sirius smiled and politely declined, returning to lean on the table, his arms crossed.  

“I know we are working but I won’t tell the others if you wanted to go and get her number.” 

Sirius gave a lopsided grin, “not interested mate.” 

Charlie shook his head. “Man, I wish I had what you have.” Sirius paused in the act of taking a sip of his beer.  

“What would that be?” He replied.  

“The birds!” Charlie exclaimed. “They just flock to you! What I wouldn’t give…” he mumbled trailing off and looking in the direction of the woman who had approached Sirius.  

~ _The fuck?!_ ~ thought Sirius. “What about Y/N?” 

“What about her?” Said Charlie turning to Sirius momentarily, missing the dangerous glare in his eyes.  

~ _So this little arsehole has Y/N and doesn’t even appreciate how lucky he is!_ ~ Sirius could feel the rage build inside him.  

Before Sirius could reply you had returned to the table. “Ok thanks Dad. I love you.” 

“I love you too!” Mimicked Charlie. “Oh, ha. Ha” you said flipping Charlie the bird as you hung up the phone.  

~ _Hold on?_ ~ Sirius thought he was missing something here… 

 

————  

 

A few hours later, and no sighting of Dalziel you decided to call time on the evening. “Ok I think we can mark this site as clear.” Picking up your bag and jacket you made to leave, “I’ll write up the notes and leave them at headquarters – feel free to enjoy your Friday night!” 

Charlie nodded in thanks and turned his attention to the woman at the table next to yours. Not wanting to witness the rest of what he thought might happen Sirius left with you.  

Finding a dark corner as cover you both disapparated appearing within a few blocks of Grimmauld Place. Falling into step beside you, Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets. He was in a dilemma.  

By now he was certain a Charlie had a wandering eye, if the rest of evening was anything to go by. He had to tell you, even if it meant you would hate him for bringing this to your attention. You deserved so much better. He clenched his fists in his pockets before taking a deep breath and preparing to break your heart… 

“Y/N do you…” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay out Sirius?” 

You both spoke at the same time.  

“Sorry.” Smiled Sirius, “after you.” 

“You don’t have to walk me back if you wanted to stay out. I’m sure you could have had a fun night with Charlie.” It wasn’t so much a statement as a question…spending the evening chatting to Sirius only served to increase your feelings for him. You even felt like… 

“No I’m sure.” Sirius interrupted your thoughts. “Did you not want to stay though, with…” he stalled “…Charlie?” 

You had reached Grimmauld Place now and as he held the door open for you your shoulder brushed passed his chest and your brain buffered… “Sorry, can you say that again, I didn’t, I didn’t hear..” Bloody hell you were losing your words again.  

“I said, didn’t you want to stay with Charlie?” Sirius’ breathing was faster now, hating asking the question but needing to know, as the night and your behaviour towards Charlie confused him.  

You laughed and walked down the hallway to the kitchen. “Shit no! I’ve seen Charlie Weasley on the prowl and it’s not a sight I want to experience again!” Chuckling softly you looked up at Sirius who was frozen in the kitchen doorway.  

“So you don’t mind?” He questioned.

“Mind?” You took your jacket off placing it and your bag on the table. “What do you mean?” Your furrowed eyebrows confused Sirius.  

“Well, aren’t you together?” 

Shock and hilarity ran through you at the same time. “Oh…ha! Me and Charlie? Gross! He’s like my brother! Why would you…” Your mouth formed an ‘O’ of surprise as pieces of the past few weeks ran through your head.  

He thought you and Charlie were together. Why would he?...Oh Arthur! Arthur spoke about Charlie the night you were injured. You spent the night at Charlie’s house. Charlie has been with you since he got back, he said ‘I love you’ in front of Sirius. Oh fuck is that the reason behind Sirius’ sudden change in behaviour?  

As you stood there, flashes of realisation passing through your head, Sirius took steps towards you. You looked up at him to see he was standing in front of you. “So you are not with Charlie? Or anyone?” His gaze was on you again, looking right into your eyes and down to your very core.  

You shook your head softly not taking your eyes off him, one hand still holding your jacket on the table. “No.” You gulped. “I’m not Sirius, I thought…I thought you might have got that from our night in the park.” 

Sirius smirked. “I’m a bit of an idiot Y/N. I don’t read between the lines that well anymore.” Although perhaps he had, he thought to himself, perhaps there was something between you all along? Still he wanted to hear you say it. 

As if reading his thoughts, you began: “Well, I don’t think you are an idiot, I also think you read my feelings quite well but just in case I am wrong I will tell you.” 

Tentatively, you placed one hand on his chest and said, “I’m not with anyone Sirius, never was and now I don’t think I could be with anyone apart from you. I have admired your strength and motivation to create a world without fear at the expense of your own safety for months. That night, our kiss, I haven’t been able to think of anything else since.” You ran your other hand down his arm stopping when he caught it in his.  

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing – this goddess couldn’t stop thinking about him and could see the man he so desperately wanted to be. His heart was beating fast and as you said the following words his breath caught in his chest.  

“You drive me crazy, Sirius. I think I’m falling for you.” 

Sirius’ mind, heart, and lower abdomen pulsed heavily at all at once. He didn’t wait. He grabbed you, pulled you hard to him and kissed you deeply.  

The touch of you, your smell, your taste inflamed his senses until all he could feel was a delicious, electric sensation sparking throughout his body.  

He had picked you up, swiped everything onto the floor and, for the second time in weeks, lay you down on the kitchen table. This time there was no painful broken arm just utter, incredible longing and excitement as well as a gorgeous growing bulge in his pants pressing against your clothed core.   

Trying very hard to hold you gently, Sirius placed his weight on top of you. He quickly realised he shouldn’t have worried because as soon as he started to lean down, you ripped his shirt open handling him roughly in your haste. He smiled into your mouth thinking ~ _so she has a rough streak._ ~ The thought instantly making him harder and he needed more.   

Breaking the kiss and holding you tightly to him he apparated you to the top floor of Grimmauld Place: his bedroom. You had never been this far up at head quarters so you had never seen Sirius’ room, a space you had thought about over the past few weeks wondering what it looked like. This would still be a mystery as your focus was only on Sirius and what he was doing with his hands and his mouth.  

God the feel of him kissing you and touching you was so good you thought; Sirius helping you to remove your clothes as he walked you backwards towards his bed not being able to stop kissing you or holding your body.  

Reaching behind you and undoing the clasp of your bra he threw you down onto his bed. He peeled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes while he looked at you. You were so so beautiful lying against his pillows and his heart squeezed when you smiled holding your arms out to him.  

He paused hovering over you, brushing your hair out of your face as he held your gaze. “Y/N, I am in love with you. You said I drive you crazy? Well that’s nothing compared to how you make me feel.”  He bit his lip before adding, “if you allow me I will show you.” 

Winking at you, Sirius started to slide down your body kissing every part on his way. You gasped as he reached your underwear, fingers under the lace he looked up at you and smirked, his tongue resting between his teeth.  

You bit your lip as he slid your underwear off, and dropped your head back when his stubble brushed your inner thigh.  

Then…there was nothing else to think apart from: Oh. My. God. This is it.. I’ve died and gone to heaven! His first touch on your core was galvanic. He licked a line from the bottom of your folds to the top. It sent waves of electric currents throughout your body.  

Holding you down to stop your hips from bucking, Sirius flicked the tip of his tongue rapidly over your clit sending shocks and sparks up and down your legs. Then, placing his mouth over your core, sucked until the pressure almost sent you off the bed before continuing to flick his tongue on your clit now submerged in a thrilling vacuum of euphoria.  

When he inserted two fingers inside you and expertly twisted them against your walls you saw stars….and him. His scent was all around you, throughout the sheets you lay on, on your lips, and now at your most sensitive part.  

You grabbed the sheets and wrung them in your fists as your orgasm came crashing down inside of you, lifting you up. Wave after wave of ridiculous pleasure washed over you. “Oh, fuck. Sirius!” was all you could muster before falling back against the bed.  

Sirius emerged from between your legs, smiling and wiping his mouth. “You…that was…Oh my god” you breathed. No one had ever made you feel like THAT! Before Sirius could answer you pulled him down on top of you kissing him hurriedly and tasting a tang that only turned you on more.  

You guided him onto his back and moved down the bed, undoing his jeans and adeptly whipping them off in a move that surprised both you and him. Taking care of the next layer of clothing your eyes widened in pleasant alarm as his erection popped out of his underwear resting against his stomach. A damp pool of precum settling from tip of his cock showing you just how turned on he was.  

Stroking him softly at first, he watched you slide down his legs until you were level with his cock and licked the same line he did for you, ending with a soft flick at his tip. Sirius groaned. One hand gripping the side of the bed the other wrapped gently in your hair he was on fire, as you took him further and further into your mouth, bobbing a rhythm that was sending crackling jolts up and down his spine.  

He was a beautiful sight to see, you thought as you stole a glance at him; eyes closed, lips pressed together…Sirius couldn’t take much more, he wanted you, needed to feel you at your closest. “Oh Y/N, you’re going to make me come if you don’t stop that. Come here!” 

Crawling back up the bed into his arms you kissed him, “don’t you want to come, Sirius?” You teased.  

“Yes but there is something else I want first.” He lay on top of you once more and kissed you deeply, bringing your arms up to rest on the pillows above your head. One hand holding both of yours together in place; with the other he reached down between you before pausing and looking at you, as if asking for permission.  

There was so much adoration, want, and love in his eyes. “Take me, Sirius.” You whispered. He actually growled before he settled himself at your entrance and slowly slid into you.  

“Oh, fuck!” Wrapping your legs around him kissing him hungrily as he moved inside you. At every thrust of his hips you felt more and more rapturous bliss.  

Sirius couldn’t think, he could feel every inch of his cock being enveloped by your tight pussy at every moment. With each roll of your hips meeting his and taking him deeper he exploded with yearning. This, feeling you at your deepest, seeing your face contort in ecstasy; sweat trickling down between your breasts was something he thought he could never get used to. He had meant what he said: he was in love with you and sex with love was always better but never did he imagine sex was going to feel this incredible. He wanted to tell you this but at that moment, “Fuck!” was all he could manage.  

A knot somewhere in your abdomen was unraveling. Sirius was fucking you harder, kissing your collar bone, biting your neck as he moved inside you; moaning your name over and over.  

Wanting you closer he let go of your hands and flipped you to straddling him in a seated position.  

You scratched your fingernails down his back as you grinded against him, chests pressed together, your nipples grazing his skin as you rocked. Chasing a feeling that was building and building reaching a pressure point and perhaps it was the combination of him fluidly popping his hips up into you, moving with you up and down and kissing you deeply; bringing you to the tip of your climax.  

“Come for me, Y/N.” Your orgasm exploded leaving you gasping. Calling out Sirius’ name as he moved with you helping you ride out the waves of pleasure that were not stopping. “Wholly fuck! Sirius!” Seeing you unravel and call out his name for the second time that night acted like a stimulus, bringing his orgasm about with frightening speed.  

“I think I’m gonna…fuck! Y/N” furrowed brows and goosebumps erupting all over his body, you felt a warm wave inside you as he came. Breathing heavily, he held you tight, placing soft kisses along your shoulder and neck, only releasing you when your breathing returned to normal and you both had stopped shaking.  

Crashing down into the bed at the same time, you looked at each other.  

“That was…”  

“…yeah!” 

Both laughing and coming down from your highs.  

 

After a moment Sirius rolled onto his side, facing you. “Y/N I’m so sorry for my behaviour as of late. There were a few things that lead me to be certain you were with Charlie and I couldn’t take it.” He paused to stroke your cheek. “My feelings for you started a long time ago and by the night of our ‘fake’ kiss - I was already in so deep and to hear you might be with somebody else…well it cut me.” 

 “You could have just asked me Sirius. Saved yourself the trouble.” You smiled. You were not angry, you understood miscommunication not addressed can easily cause unnecessary confusion.  

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t. I will from now on though.” He finished looking at you intently.  

Breathing quickening again “From now on?” Then not wanting anymore uncertainty, “Until when?” You added, boldly  

He smiled and kissed you, “shall we say for as long as you’ll have me?” 

You cockily raised an eyebrow at him not letting him win you over so quickly. He laughed and said “well at least stay until we have to get up for the Order meeting?” 

“Uh but Sirius, it’s…” looking at the clock on his bedside table, “2am on a Saturday. The next meeting isn’t until Wednesday night?!” Dumbfounded and amused you waited for his reply.  

A sly smirk formed on his lips, his grey eyes twinkled as he pulled you too him, wrapping his legs around you before saying: “yes, and?” 

 

Fin.  

———————— 

**Author's Note:**

> All characters assumed 18+


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